Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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