South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You made out with two different species that night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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