It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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