so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
