omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
