he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
