What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
