Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
