This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
