I think I am morally bankrupt
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
