...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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