I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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