She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I DEMAND FORESKIN
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
