So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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