the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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