so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
