'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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