Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she peed on how many people?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize