Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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