wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
