What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
