You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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