Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
