I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
