How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
