I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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