I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
