that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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