Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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