the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
