i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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