I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
