you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
