dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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