In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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