I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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