This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
