Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
