My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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