I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sext me about skeletons
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
