three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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