Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
