I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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