i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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