God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize