I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
