it hurts more in the daytime
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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