Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
