dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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