Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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