I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize