so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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