I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hippo gnu deer
you had me at cake vodka
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
