Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
