Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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