You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
