why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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