He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
