put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
