We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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