I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
