Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize