So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
