Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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