Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
