Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
