weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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