I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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