just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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